You're Just Going to STEAL IT?! + 3 books I loved in April
It takes a lot for me to clutch my pearls. I'm almost 40, and the world is insane. But clutch my pearls I did when, this weekend on Threads, a user I follow (@mommacusses, who is hilarious, by the way) posted info about a woman who only recently took down her YouTube channel where she played audiobooks she had recorded from her phone. Settle in friends, because a rant's a'blowin' in!
As noted, this YouTube user records audiobooks on her phone, and then posts them to YouTube for other users to replay for free. This practice is abhorrent, of course, but said pearl-clutching response actually came when I saw her plainly-stated plan to remedy the situation: she's just going take her thievery to Discord and charge people $5 a month because the people on YouTube were dogging her constantly in comments. Wow.
As you all know, I moonlight as a lawyer, so you think I'd be desensitized to the concept of law-breaking; but this one struck a nerve, probably because I long to be one of the people that @AlexandriasLibraryy is stealing from, insofar as it means I've managed to publish a book she can steal.
But then it got WORSE. Yes! Worse! I still can't believe it.
Worse because various people were openly defending the practice. I figured they would hide in the dark, refuse to stick their head above the covers and get whacked. But no. To the contrary, I endured various full-throated justifications as to why it's OK to cooperate in this Great Theft alongside @AlexandriasLibraryy.
Here is how the online arguments generally went:
- Theft Enthusiasts: Audiobooks are too expensive.
- Me/Other Sane People: We hear you! Please check them out from the library (the author is paid when you do so). Libby and Hoopla are literally amazing, some of the best tech there is available on smart devices.
- Theft Enthusiasts: No way, I hate you! The wait times are too long! One user then showed me the HORROR he was experiencing having to wait FIVE 👏 WEEKS 👏 to listen to Sunrise On the Reaping by Suzanne Collins, probably the biggest book released in the last five years.
- Me/Other Sane People: OK...so...just wait then? You waited how long for this book to come out, wait one more month? Two? Read other things?
- Theft Enthusiasts: Well, I don't always get the book when I want it. And I can't listen to the whole thing before the license is revoked (usually 3 weeks). So then I have to request it and wait again, and then I forget the first part, rendering the library process useless.
- Some Other Theft Enthusiasts with Alternative Positions: I hate the library. Free public services make me angry.
- Me/Other Sane People: 🤯 🤯 🤯 🤯 🤯 🤯 🤯 🤯 🤯 🤯 🤯 🤯 🤯 🤯.
So to sum up the Bookstealers' arguments:
I'm unable to obtain an audiobook the EXACT MOMENT I want it, and also for as long as I want it, so I'm going to commit an actual crime; plus also commit the ethical crime of ripping off the person who actually needs the money to create the very thing I'm so desperate to have that I'm willing to steal it!
People were for real in my DMs like—DO YOU KNOW HOW EXPENSIVE BOOKS ARE? HOW DARE YOU! YOU ARE A BAD PERSON FOR JUDGING US! GO TAKE A DIRT NAP, YOU MONSTER!
How dare me? ME? The person saying: DON'T STEAL MONEY OUT OF THIS ARTIST'S MOUTH AND THEN ALSO PROFIT FROM IT YOURSELF?
OK, sorry. They tell us in Writing Skool not to capitalize words too often because it effectively means you're yelling, and it makes the reader tired. But I really was yelling as I wrote it. I'll stop now though.
So, I stopped engaging with the BookThieves (because, really, why bother at that point). One zoomer told me "it's not that deep bruh" when I reiterated they were all openly admitting to committing crimes, and I'll never unsee that.
So what in the bloody hell am I going on about?
We've become so accustomed to instant gratification that, as a populace, we're no longer able to appreciate the deep-rooted pleasure one gets from waiting for something exciting to happen. This pains me and makes me sad.
It's also painful to see how drawn apart the makers of worthy things and the consumers who love those things have become; apparently in some circles, stealing an individual human's actual property (in this case, their intellectual property), thereby effectively taking money out of their mouths and pockets, doesn't even tug at conscious of those consumers.
I blame neither the maker nor the consumer, though. Imho, I blame the rent-seeking that happens in all industries, including art, and certainly in writing. It's virtually impossible to make art as a living now, though it certainly was for centuries before.
I bet a few of you think I'm being dramatic. In 2019, the Authors Guild (the open union any writer can join) did a survey of writer incomes. Guys, it's absolutely f**king bleak.
Basically, a full-time author averaged an annual income of $20,030. Part-time? $6,080.
In 2023, the Bureau of Labor Statistics reported that people who claimed to be writers/authors generated about $73,680 per annum, but the income presented also includes their alternative financial sources (i.e., their other, actual paying jobs and/or their teaching gigs, speaking gigs, monetized digital platforms, copyediting gigs, etc.). The BLS value would include, by the way, people like Stephen King and Suzanne Collins and Tom Clancy, whereas the Authors Guild numbers discarded with outliers.
There is a guy on Instagram I like to think of as The DreamKiller who worked in traditional publishing. He breaks down what an author could make per book if everything goes great. His videos are solid, very informative, but they're super depressing from a numbers perspective. I cannot for the life of me find his username. I've been looking for a WEEK, and I swear he's real. I'll find him one day, then I'll update this post immediately I promise. (April 30--UPDATE! I found him. Them actually. He and his wife. @books.on.the.grange. The Reel about what you can expect to make in a $100,000 two-book deal will make you cry).
I'm extrapolating based on some back-and-forth in the comments with @books.on.the.grange, but I want to assume someone like knocks it out of the park and sells in big numbers (this couple, reasonably, stays on the realistic side in terms of volume). Let's say one book generates $500,000 in revenue. That, by the way, would be considered a very successful novel. If the author is either established or extremely lucky to have some negotiating power to land a good book deal, a traditionally published author is lucky if they take home 10% of that revenue. That's on the high side, by the way, most authors aren't even walking home with that amount. While most authors do get paid a royalty of 10% per hardback, they're getting 10% on Amazon's insane race-to-the-bottom model, plus paying agents, developmental editors, maybe even having to get help on social media marketing in order to just get the copies out the door.
An author is usually only able to publish one book every few years (that's a decent clip). This very lucky, very talented author—sitting high on the one-book deal earning spectrum—will take home $50,000 from writing that book, and that's before Uncle Sam gets hold of it. That gets us just below the 2019 Author Guild numbers per year if the process from starting to releasing the book takes three years.
These authors do not get health insurance from writing. No bennies of any kind. Definitely not dental. Almost all members of this fine profession are forced to work other jobs in order to keep doing what they love and give the gift of their words to the population.
It takes years to write a book. Years. Hours and hours and hours. Unfathomable numbers of hours to write a book and get good enough to do it. It's virtually REQUIRED now to take workshop classes and to professionalize your writing resume through other means—like applying to residencies, competitive workshops, attending conferences, and get this guys, paying submission fees to get published. If I ever publish WHAT THE BODY WANTS, I think I'll be lucky if I make a penny-on-the-dollar per each hour I put into writing it. And that's before I incorporate all of the money I've spent learning how to do this and making myself marketable for representation and publication.
So after all this, you, @AlexandriasLibraryy: you have the nerve to record an author's audiobook on your phone and charge people $5/month to listen to those books? And then to the people who consume that nonsense: you're willing to do this to that author simply because that audiobook is not available to you the SECOND you want it, even though you could GET IT FOR FREE FROM THE LIBRARY ON A VERY INTUITIVE AND WELL-EXECUTED APP LIKE LIBBY OR HOOPLA?
Whoops. I yelled again.
But you get it.
What can anybody even do about this?
So: I know I'm preaching to the choir because this is a group of book-lovers, but if you see this nonsense, please report, shut it down, even if it's just an impotent public shaming. You can even report intellectual property theft to the FBI. I do it all the time, because I'm catty like that. I don't know if it does anything, but it makes me feel a little better.
You can also copy authors in the posts where you suspect theft is happening. They have a lot more by way of power to shut this kind of BS down, or at least seek redress.
And for the love all that is holy: there are so many amazing books out there. If you're still waiting on Sunrise on the Reaping to hit your Libby account, read one of the gazillion amazing books published in the last month (hey, I even know a great newsletter you can get book recommendations from!). And then, one day, when you least expect it, you'll get that little notification and it'll be more fun than you could have expected. Just don't steal it. I beg of you.
Guys, I've not even GOTTEN to the ways Amazon has siphoned away value from writers and other forms of art, and how large language models and AI are openly stealing the work of writers to make billions in profits. Ugh. That rant is for another day. Mama's tired.
Book Reviews!
Wow, I know how exhausting it is to be in my own head; can't imagine what it's like for an outsider to get this far.
Here is your reward.
I read 8 books in April, but these were my 3 favorites, and, per usual, they're not hyped much online.
Once There Were Wolves by Charlotte McConaghy
Rating: 5/5
Library Wait: 2.5 months
Super Short Synopsis: An Aussie moves to Scotland to help reintroduce wolves to the environment. Apex predators are crucial to combatting climate change, turns out (this is a real life fact). She meets some jerks who aren't happy about it. She meets a hot cop. Her sister lives with her, and something terrible happened, rendering the sister mute. There is a murder. Who did it (or what did it)? The Aussie has of oodles of internalized anger (understandable). Of what is she capable?
Review: I think it's rare to find a murder mystery that is so lyrically written. The writing is lush, gorgeous, but not inaccessible or purple. And a mystery it is—the plot is very propulsive. This is a smooth read. The scenery is gorgeous too. We're in the high, high Scottish highlands, with rolling hills and mountains, green, green, wet, wet, foggy. Cottages and sheep grazing everywhere. Le sigh.
I waited a while for this one to hit Libby. And guess what? It was just as good months after I requested it as it would have been if I STOLE IT OFF THE INTERNET (ugh! sorry! I can't stop!)
I Was A Teenage Slasher by Stephen Graham Jones
Rating: 5/5
Libby Wait: 2 weeks
Super Short Synopsis: A kid is allergic to peanuts. His best friend is a girl. He's in high school. He loves his mom. But then a bunch of insane, supernatural sh*t happens. I can't tell you more; everything is a spoiler.
Review: This is book is hysterical and also very gross and scary. Soooo SGJ. This author is blowing up now (finally! so deserved!) with The Buffalo Buffalo Hunter but not all of his earlier works were hitting the popularity lists they should have.
The storyline is wacky, and the tie-ins to slasher movie tropes had me howling at times. But wow can Graham Jones build tension. Woooweee. I had to take a few breaks to take a breath! He also writes in this really interesting conversational style. I believe he's referred to as 'post-modern earnest'. I can 100% see that, and it makes the book imminently readable and the first POV character very empathetic (given the title, you can imagine this would be difficult to achieve!). Libby wait was short, but it shouldn't have been, imho.
But Not Too Bold, by Hache Pueyo
Rating: 3.5
Libby Wait: 1 week
Super Short Synopsis: An orphan is brought to a house that serves an eldritch spider god. She is trained up to be Keeper of the Keys (you'll find out what that means when you read). The god has a habit of eating her wives. Shenanigans ensue.
Review: Another wacky one. This is a Girl Horror novella if I ever read one. Its uniqueness is what drove me to it. It's short, but still the right length. I don't think this is scary, but it is creepy (and there are some squicky parts—read this post if you want to know what that means). The writing is very pretty, and while it was unusual in terms of the setting and characters, I saw the ending and the twists coming like the neon lights of Las Vegas as you approach from the Western desert. But I think you should read still; as you might recall from my last post, a 3.5 from me is a very good rating!
Thank you for tolerating today's rant. Next time I'll pick a nice palette-cleanser. As long as something even more heinous doesn't come along. What do you think the odds are on that? Gotta be 50/50, best case, at this point.
As always, please have a wonderful week and read banned books! I would love an email, a DM, a smoke signal, a comment below on what you think of this whole stealing audiobooks and then charging people for it thing.
-Charlotte Chambers